6/23/09 New Moon Dream
I was at a social gathering/party of some sort that I had been in charge of organizing. It was in a very large building in Montana that was divided into three sections of equal size each being about 1,000 SF. Two of the sections were connected with a half wall that divided them. The third section was a large room with its own entrance to your right as you entered the main entrance. The party was in the two sections that were connected; they were entered by walking straight through the common entryway. One of the sections was a dining room and the other was a bar. The common entrance area (to all three rooms) was very institutional looking with glass and metal doors with bar latches. I was sitting with some people at a table on the dining room side where the party was when they all decided to go over to the bar. They invited me to go with them. I said “no” thinking some of them would stay with me, but they all left. I felt abandoned. I did not feel like going over to the bar so I wandered to the front of the building into the common entrance area that almost looked like a waiting room with wooden benches instead of chairs.
Two heavy-set Native American women were sitting on each side of the main entrance facing me as I walked in that direction. Somehow I knew that the large private room was being used for the tribe’s council meeting. It was a special anniversary of some sort and a man called the “rattle master” and a woman who was a sacred clown were there to participate in some way. The council meeting had already begun in the room with the closed doors. The clown and rattle master were to go in at a certain time and they had been waiting in the front entrance way. As I approached it was time for them to go in. The clown woman had on a goofy headdress that said “go council” in large letters across her forehead. She was dressed in tan colored clothes with red designs and had a red and white cheerleader pompom in one hand. The rattle master was dressed in a beautiful costume of eagle feathers and beadwork. His arms were adorned with feathers so that they looked like wings and he had a tail and a headdress. He had a rattle in one hand and a single feather in his other hand. The clown woman walked in front of the rattle master and headed for the entrance to the council room. As the rattle master prepared to follow her he shook his rattle in such a way that all of the feathers in his costume seemed to quiver in resonance with the sound. He spread his wings (arms) and made motions like a gliding bird as he followed the clown woman into the room and the door shut behind them.
At the moment that the rattle master shook his rattle I felt an intense and profound wave of sorrow begin to rise within me. At about the time that the door to the council room closed I began sobbing uncontrollably. The two women were still sitting near the door but now they were both on the same side of the door to my left (same side as the council room as I was facing the main entrance). The women looked at me with concern and I could see that they had no idea why I was weeping and that they saw me as an “outsider”. They asked me if I wanted to talk. I nodded my head “yes” as I went and sat between them. I just sobbed for a while until finally I could choke out: “the rattle made me weep”. They both nodded in understanding and I knew that now they recognized me as being connected. I wanted to say more, to tell them of my deep sorrow but I could not speak, I could only weep. The women had me lie on my back on one of the benches. One of them went to each of my feet. They removed my shoes and folded my feet toe towards heel as far as they would go and they went much further than I expected without causing any pain. Then they each put the ball of the foot they were holding against their respective foreheads. I calmed down. The woman at my left said “I can see three months back” in an overly dramatic tone with a wide sweep of her arm. I knew that she was joking and making fun. It was as if I was expecting something profound and she was bringing me down to earth by making light of the situation. I understood this and I giggled.
Suddenly I was standing under a white canvas canopy at Big Hole Meadow. It was windy and the canvas was flapping in the wind, I was struck by the beauty of the meadow, the mountains in the distance and the deep blue sky, it was springtime. A medicine man was there to see me. He was standing under the canopy near the eastern edge facing in. He was about my height and was wearing only a pair of white cotton draw-string pants. He had long black hair with streaks of gray near his face pulled back in a pony tail. He emanated joy. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and there was a “knowing” between us. He had a “cigarette” that contained bark and herbs in his mouth. As he looked at me with the twinkle and knowing in his eyes he took a drag off the “cigarette”. I felt as if he was “smoking” me in a sense and something was burning and being sucked out of me each time that he sucked on the cigarette. It was an odd sensation. When he blew out the smoke I felt something being released from inside of me. He drew from the “cigarette” about three or four times. We were standing facing each other but not directly; he was slightly to my left. As he blew out the last puff of smoke he walked towards me and said “all clear now” as he passed by. I nodded in thanks. I did not turn to look at him as he went by but kept my eyes forward. End of dream
Earlier in the dream when I first saw the rattle master I knew that his was a very long and powerful tradition. I knew that a huge responsibility came with possessing the rattle and that the rattle was sacred and ancient. I knew that the rattle was usually passed from father to son but not always. I knew that this particular rattle master had gotten his rattle from his father.